8 Ways To Solve Your College Problems That Are All ‘Take A Nap’

Sleep is the best way to both calm down and avoid your responsibilities.

This article was originally published for The Odyssey on November 22, 2017.

We’re at that point in the semester where the end is nigh, but not nigh enough. As I write this while procrastinating other work, I have a pretty good idea of what giving up feels like, as I’m feeling it right now. If you’re feeling anything like I am right now, you’ve probably got a ton of assignments and papers to start, but just can’t find the motivation. As per my expert advice, here are 8 ways to solve all your college problems that are all ‘Take a nap.’

1. Take a nap

Stressed? Anxious? Depressed? A nap will fix all of that (temporarily). But then you could always just…

2. Take a nap

Turn up the air conditioner, take off those socks (please), and curl up in bed. You need to relax and fuel up for your next big task which is to –

3. Take a nap

Napping can really take a lot of out of you. After napping, drink some hot chocolate, eat something good and then settle back down to fix your problems. It’s important to think about your to-do list and then after you feel overwhelmed, just –

4. Take a nap

Okay, now it’s time to get down to business. You know what you have to do, so you have to gather your tools. You probably need to charge your laptop and your phone and so the only logical thing to do next is to…

5. Take a nap

Make sure to watch or listen to something soothing and or happy before napping, this way your dreams are good. However, if you’re having any bad dreams, you know what to do.

6. Take a nap

Gather your laptop, gather your textbooks and homework and then head to the library. It’s important to find a quiet and isolated spot in the library so that you have peace to study, work and of course,

7. Take a nap

After a long day of stressing out over procrastination, studying and a pile of work so large it could probably fight Mount Rushmore, you should honestly treat yourself. Go home, put up those feet, turn on some sweet background noise and finally finish your to-do-list for the day. It’s important to follow through with your goals. The only way you can finally solve all of your college problems is to honestly, just bite the bullet and –

8. Take a nap

It’s simple, really.


13 Times Your Fall Semester Was Upside Down, As Told By ‘Stranger Things’

If my professor asks where I am, I’ve left the country.

This article was originally published for The Odyssey on November 8, 2017.

Stranger Things season 2 was released on Netflix last week and most of us have spent our free time intensely binging it.

Even if you haven’t finished your binge, you’re probably obsessed with the Hawkins children and even more terrified of the upside down. As we get deeper and deeper into the semester, we’re probably at least equally terrified of the final projects, presentations and papers just around the corner.

Here are 13 ways your fall semester is beginning to resemble the upside down, as told by our favorite Stranger Things characters.

1. When a professor says the words “group project.”

How could you do this to us professor?

2. Looking at the calendar and realizing it’s Monday…AGAIN.

The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.

3. Struggling to get out of bed because you don’t care anymore.

It’s so easy to say no and stay in bed, but attendance… my grade… they’re depending on me.

4. When a professor says the words “final paper” and “final exam” in the same sentence.

Final paper? Final exam? PICK ONE!

5. Waking up late, and booking it to class because you can’t skip any more.

Truly the worst tragedy any of us will have to endure.

6. Running low on flex dollars and having to skip coffee some days.

How can I function if I’m not drinking coffee and not sleeping?

7. Beginning to complete work for other classes in other classes.

And not paying attention, being called on, and having everyone stare at you as you have no idea what the heck is going on.

8. Spending your free time thinking about studying about homework even though it’s free time.

Free time is an illusion. Time is also an illusion.

9. Having to schedule your mental breakdowns and crying time into your regular schedule.

This is too much.

10. Spending more time in the library and study rooms rather than your room because sleep no longer matters.

Disorientation is just an essential part of life.

11. When every conversation with your friends is about wanting to sleep, being tired, or having no motivation.

We all just need a hug.

12. Basically floating through your routine, classes and activities while feeling like crap.

Trying not to cry on campus is now something you can add to your resume.

13. Crying through your assignments in hopes that it will all be over soon.

Just keep holding on. We’re closer to the end of the semester than we are to the beginning of it!


17 Disney Channel Original Movies Even ’90s Kids Probably Forgot About

When you saw those kids doing gymnastics over film reels, you knew something good was about to come on.

This article was originally posted for The Odyssey on October 30, 2017.

’90s kids can become pretty nostalgic thinking about the television shows they watched during their childhood.

There’s always talk of cartoons from Nickelodeon or ABC, but no one ever mentions the old school Disney Channel. We had it good in the 2000’s when Disney Channel was making original films exclusively for Disney Channel viewers, titled DCOM’s. Here are 17 DCOM’s you probably forgot about, and will definitely want to arrange a marathon to watch again!

1. Jump In

How could you forget the iconic double dutch movie with both Corbin Bleu and Keke Palmer? Where Corbin Bleu began his music career? Where we all thought we could do the double dutch tricks they did in the show and failed miserably? If you don’t remember, no worries – fortunately, this film is on Netflix.

2. Read it and Weep

Another classic with Disney Channel sisters Kay and Danielle Panabaker. I remember seeing the tablet that Kay wrote on and wishing I had something similar to journal in. This movie can also be found on Netflix.

3. The Even Stevens Movie

Sometimes I forget that Even Stevens even existed and then I see Shia LaBoeuf and remember everything. Right after he graced us with his presence in Holes, Shia Laboeuf and co-star Christy Carlson Romano wowed us in The Even Stevens Movie. Though this one isn’t on Netflix, it is on Hulu.

4. Eddie’s Million Dollar Cook-Off

Eddie Ogden was the original Zeke from High School Musical. He was a baseball player who loved cooking and decided to pursue it alongside his sports career, leading to some pretty crazy shenanigans. Because this one is so rare, you’ll have t pay to see this movie. It’s only $5.99 on YouTube.

5. Smart House

Before SmartPhones went viral, we all wanted to live in the Smart House that sort of controlled everyone inside, but that’s mostly irrelevant! The party Ben throws without his family knowing was so cool! You can rent this film on Amazon.

6. Wendy Wu Homecoming Warrior

The ultimate girl-power movie. From trying to win the title of Homecoming Queen while attempting to learn the ropes of being a warrior, Wendy Wu is not to be trifled with. You can find this gem on Netflix as well.

7. Zenon Girl of the 21st Century

Who didn’t love the Zenon series? Though the first one was arguably the best – the whole series was amazing! The technology was definitely out of this world. Not only was Kirsten Storms best friends with a character played by Raven Symone, but the film also gave us the wonder that is Protozoa. Watch this film on Amazon or YouTube.

8. Pixel Perfect

Before Ricky Ullman totally fell off the face of the Earth, he starred in this film about a boy who creates a holographic lead singer for his best friend’s band. The scene where everyone runs out of the hospital in the pouring rain was so dramatic for me as a child. You can purchase this film on iTunes.

9. Life is Ruff

Kay Panabaker, Kyle Massey, Mitchel Musso and an amazing labrador retriever star in this fantastic film that combines skateboarding, romance, dogs shows and teenage mischief, this film is a force to be reckoned with. You can watch online at AmazonYouTube, iTunes and Google Play.

10. The Thirteenth Year

This movie was 18 years early for the mermaid fad that has swept our generation in recent years. Telling the story of a young boy entering his teen years, this movie also told the story of a star-swimmer coming to terms with the fact that he is a mermaid. Mer-man? They struggle with the terminology here too. Find it online from Amazon Video for just $2.99.

11. Double Teamed

A heart-warming tale based on the true story following basketball star twins Heidi and Heather Burge, is one that we will always remember in our hearts. The two girls learn lessons of teamwork, acceptance and bravery in this film which can be found on Amazon and Youtube.

12. Gotta Kick It Up

Face it, after this movie, you wanted to be on a dance team more than anything. Starring America Ferrara and Camille Guaty, this movie teaches audience about tolerance, cooperation and teamwork. Si Se Puede! Put that vaseline on your teeth, kick up those feet and watch it again on Amazon and Itunes!

13. Twitches

Well after Halloweentown came Twitches, a two-part movie series that involves the witchcraft shenanigans of twins sisters played by Tia and Tamera Mowry. Both movies can be found on Amazon.

14. Cadet Kelly

Telling the funny and relatable story of a teen sent to military school, this movie stars the unforgettable Hilary Duff and Christy Carlson Romano. We will never forget the ending scene with ribbons and streamers. Find it and enjoy the feelings all over again on Netflix.

15. The Luck of the Irish

Similar to The Thirteenth Year, this teenager must hide the fact that he is both a basketball star and a leprechaun. Similar to Space Jam, he must battle some other fantasy characters in order to keep his family from the control of evil leprechauns. Never forget the “This Land is Your Land” cover. Feel the confusion and watch it on Youtube and Google Play.

16. The Cheetah Girls

Once a Cheetah Girl, always a Cheetah Girl! Re-live your cheetah-licious days watching the first and second movies, which are a blast. The third one doesn’t have Raven Symone in it, which begs the question, were they ever really Cheetah Girls, Cheetah Sisters? Answer the question for yourself when you watch all three movies on Netflix.

17. Stuck in the Suburbs

Can you spell iconic? Starring Danielle Panabaker, Brenda Song and Saturday Night Live’s Taran Killiam, this movie won over all of our hearts the minute it aired on television. After rockstar Jordan Cahill is pressured to appear a certain way by his label, these two teen fans set out to reveal the true Jordan Cahill. Do they succeed? You’ll have to find the movie on Youtube to find out!


You’re Actually The Worst If You Have One Of These 12 Terrible Tinder Bios

You’d be rich if you had a dollar every time you saw these bios. Like pay-for-college-tuition-rich.

This article was originally published for Swoon on October 23, 2017.

If you’ve never used Tinder, consider yourself lucky.

Anyone who has spent even five minutes on the app can tell you that it’s mostly a waste of time. You either find people who have their life story in their bios, or they have the same quotes from the same television shows that everyone is tired of hearing about.

If you had a dollar for every time you saw these 12 bios on Tinder, you’d have enough money to pay for college, probably.

1. “Favorite Food: Milksteak. Hobbies: Magnets. Likes: Little Green Ghouls. Dislikes: Peoples’ Knees.”

I like “It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia” as much as the next person, but this is the worst. Nobody likes peoples’ knees! It’s not funny anymore!

2. “Bears, beets, Battlestar Galactica.”

You probably don’t even know what Battlestar Galactica is. FOH.

3. “Some people call me _____, but you can call me tonight.”

This line is so old it’s not even smooth anymore; just crusty.

4. “Not (insert legal age here), 17.”

Listen, I know it was the bee’s knees to make Facebook profiles when you were 13 and say that you were 21, but this is downright terrible.

5. “Just looking to meet people/make friends.”

Okay, I know I’m a wildcard for looking for a relationship on the app, but friends?! LEAVE.

6. “Anything you wanna know, just ask.”

Okay, I would, except, you never answer my messages.

7. “Looking for my tinderella…”


8. “‘You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take’ – Wayne Gretzky – Michael Scott”

I don’t think this has ever been funny. I can’t be the only one.

9. “I don’t message first.”

You probably don’t message back either.

10. “Just got out of a long-term relationship and-“

Okay, we haven’t even met yet. I don’t need your relationship history.

11. “I enjoy long walks on the beach.”

Swipe left.

12. “‘One hell of a guy.’ – New York Times. ‘Outstanding gentleman.’ – Washington Post. ‘I wish I could be more like him.’ – Ellen.”

Can’t you just introduce yourself like any normal person?

10 Things You Understand If You’re A Theatre Kid Who Hates ‘Theatre Kids’

No, I haven’t seen any Broadway shows, stop asking me.

This article was originally published for The Odyssey on October 17, 2017.

I’ve been a part of student-run theatre since I was a freshman in high school.

Now a junior in college, I have developed a little bit of a resistance to a certain ‘type’ of theatre personality. Not all theatre kids are like this, but I have the patience of a peanut for the ones who are.

This being said, I still enjoy theatre and those who participate in it very much, but I do enjoy silence and personal space also.

1. You hate when people burst into song.

I’m not a particularly talented person when it comes to singing, and I’m definitely not someone who enjoys other people bursting into song. I actually kind of hate it more when other people join in. Especially when we’re not even rehearsing for a musical.

2. Hamilton is a genius musical, but you don’t like talking about it 24/7.

Hamilton is the best – it’s a genius musical that exhibits people of color in major roles and tells the truth about our founding fathers through hip hop and rap. It’s a cool thing to reference every now and then – and maybe with your closest friends – but not after every word your director says. We can all rap Hamilton’s lines – you’re not special.

3. You understand that this is the drama department, but you don’t understand why everyone is so dramatic.

We’re all here because we love theatre and care deeply about this amazing show. We don’t need to spread rumors about one another, and no one needs to act like they’re better than anyone else. We are a team.

4. Everyone is so LOUD ALL the time.

Let me know why you’re cool with shouting lyrics during a break but can’t find your loud voice during rehearsal with no mics.

5. It’s actually the worst when you’re off book, and no one else is.

Lowkey, it’s even worse when people just stand there trying to remember a line instead of calling out “line?” This is equally frustrating when you’re on stage crew or on the production team and are on-book for this sole reason.

6. It’s annoying when everyone hates the director.

Okay, maybe this sucks because I’ve actually been a director, but directors have a hard job! It’s difficult to direct people in a creative setting! Give them a break and maybe, just maybe, check yourself before you wreck yourself.

7. People who brag about theatre, but then show up late to rehearsal constantly really get on your nerves.

*sips tea.*

8. I like musicals, and I like Broadway musicals, but not everyone has seen every musical.

You don’t have to see shows on Broadway to be a theatre kid. There are poor theatre kids, too. Quit talking about how you sat next to Jared Padalecki at Dear Evan Hansen. I’m happy for you, but I’m lucky to see the man on a color television.

9. Theatre kids tend to be very touchy. I enjoy personal space.

First off, we probably aren’t friends. Second off, even if we are, I’m not a touchy person. Third, if you wanna hang on me, cuddle or whatever else you’re trying to do without my consent, you can catch these hands.

10. When people are rude to stage crew, you get upset.

Stage crew works just as hard as you do. Don’t be fucking rude. Thank them and listen to them when they say you can’t do something. Without them, there is no show.


To The Nightmare Professor, Just WAIT Until Evaluations Come Around

Now, it’s my turn.

This article was originally published for The Odyssey on October 11, 2017.


I walked into your class on the first day during syllabus week, and I was on my best behavior. I showed up on time, had your syllabus printed out, and sat in the second row. I didn’t use my phone once during the first class, nor did I talk without raising my hand. I understand I’m being a decent person, but in college, students like me are hard to come by. I know being a student is a privilege, not a right, but don’t doubt for a second that I won’t fight for this privilege.

In the first few weeks, you seemed OK. I thought that perhaps I would warm up to you as time went on. Your personality was very different from mine, and I tried my hardest to give you a fair chance. Sure, you were demanding, but also a little spacey, precise about irrelevant things, and free-flowing about important things, but I decided to be patient.

A month into class, I started to wonder if I could make it through your curriculum. One paper in, and I was not off to a great start. I asked you for help. I went to your office hours, and you handed me off to either a teacher’s assistant or a graduate assistant. I’m still not sure which because they ceased to help me a single bit. I tried to stop in during your office hours again, and you simply belittled my writing and refused to hand me any usable advice.

“You just don’t get it,” you told me. “You don’t want this enough.” I have never left a professor’s office feeling more attacked. I cried for a short period before anger overtook me. I tried harder on the next paper and saw progress. A new letter grade. You still left comments on my paper that read, “You could do better.” So I pushed myself. I worked harder on the next paper, reading the pages more closely. You gave me the lower grade again.

At this point, I’m starting to lose hope. It’s too late to drop the class, and you’re standing in front of the measly few that are left preaching about how we’re going to fail the class if we don’t do X, Y, Z. You’re getting in our faces and telling us that other professors aren’t going to put up with this. You’re damn wrong if you think I’m putting up with this from other professors.

I’m not sure you actually want me to succeed, but I’m not paying you to leave me floundering. I decide to seek help elsewhere because I know you won’t have any constructive advice for me. I talk to friends, other professors, and tutors who help me with some key tips.

I’m letting you know that I will fight for my grades. I will fight for tutoring and help. Although I’m envying those students who dropped your class, I will fight to the end with the few lingering behind fighting for that passing grade.

It’s one thing to belittle us via our writing, our assignments and projects. It’s a whole other thing to bully us in the classroom, convincing us as students that we are nothing, that we will not succeed if we cannot pass your class. I will not be scared into learning. I am not interested in listening to a professor who doesn’t want to see me succeed.

I am not interested in anyone who isn’t interested in helping me succeed. To the nightmare college professor, you better hope you’re not up for tenure.

When faculty evaluations come around, you can bet I’ll be more honest than I’ve ever been in my entire life.


A determined and pissed off student

13 One-Liners That Only Shippensburg University Students Could Understand

It’s like we have our own language.

This article was originally published for The Odyssey on October 4, 2017. It has been edited.

Over here at Shippensburg University, students come from all sides of Pennsylvania, and its surrounding states; we are a diverse group of tri-state area residents.

Though there are students who come from elsewhere, most of us hail from the east coast. With several dialects from different counties, the language on campus becomes not only diverse but just plain different.

Here are 13 phrases that only makes sense to Shippensburg students, and if you’re not one of us, well, I guess ship happens.

1. “Another alarm in the Hove?”

Okay, maybe no one but the residents call it the ‘Hove,’ but they are famous for their multiple fire alarms. Sometimes, there’s more than one in one night.

2. “Meet me at the CUB!”

We have all said this at one time or another. Then you follow up with, “Where are you?” And someone always says either, “McFeelys,” “The Great Hall” or “Fireside.” Quality places to eat, meet and hang out.

3. “I forgot it was Raider Bowl Wednesday!”

Most of us are too prideful to say the Raider Bowl is gross, but ever since they switched back to the bad chicken, nothing has been the same. It is nice when they still have dinner rolls though.

4. “I can’t come out tonight. I have the Reisner Runs.”

The absolute worst kind of runs. It’s probably because you ate the Chinese food or the chicken cacciatore. Learn from your mistakes.

5. “I spent all my flex.”

A true tragedy. You can reload in amounts of $25, but most of us just suffer.

6. “Ship happens.”

Even if you hate this saying, it’s plastered on every single piece of merchandise we sell and own.

7. “I hate the Bard hill.”

Okay, maybe this isn’t what the Bard hill looks like but it definitely FEELS like this. It’s deceiving because it looks like it’s not THAT bad, but it’s actually TERRIBLE.

8. “Are they still making hot bowls?”

I wish they would just post their hours. I also wish they would put more bowls in the refrigerator.

9. “I wonder what the APB concert is going to be this semester!”

A $40 meet and greet with Jesse McCartney and Andy Grammer this semester, Ludacris last semester and Panic! at the Disco the semester before? I can’t wait to see what’s in store next.

10. “Let’s hit up Wibs tonight!”

You’ll go, you’ll hate it and yourself afterwards. It’s never worth it but you always find yourself back there.

11. “Kriner, the finer diner.”

Grilled cheese all the time, and Papa Johns in the lobby.

12. “The Grove stairs are the worst!”

Okay, there is an elevator, but people totally judge you when you take it and it does take approximately five minutes just to arrive.

13. “I’m gonna study in the fishbowl.”

Where would we be without late-night paper-writing in the fishbowl? That one vending machine is always broken, someone always tries to leave out the locked doors and you’ll likely find at least one student having a mental breakdown at midnight.